Pizza is a vegetable. You know, those round hot things that don’t grow in the ground, don’t need any kind of planting, have no leaves or stems, and don’t require watering. But they do (most of the time) have tomato sauce on them. Which apparently makes them qualify as “vegetables”. It must be true because the U. S. Congress says so. And who could possibly doubt that assemblage of mental giants?
It makes me think back to the good old days when Ronald Reagan proclaimed that catsup was a vegetable. Of course, he also said that trees were a major source of air pollution because they gave off carbon dioxide. Well, “science” marches on.
In reality, nobody really thinks that pizza is a vegetable (at least I hope not). But some of our esteemed representatives were forced to adopt this position when the Obama administration tried to push through legislation that would have made the food served in our public schools less fattening. Like serving more fruit and vegetables and fewer french fries, pizza, and cheeseburgers. To the Obama folks, it seemed reasonable. Current data predicts that by 2020 more than 80% of all men and 70% of all women will be either overweight or obese. That’ll be a lot of excess weight walking around. So why not nip it in the bud (or maybe more correctly, “in the butt”)?
In case you hadn’t noticed, though, the big food producers in this country are extremely powerful and have lots of money. That can buy a lot of votes. Which is pretty much what happened. The rationalization (I’d call it “spin”) was that stuff like pizza was really just like a vegetable. There was no need to change the menus – everything was just fine. Let ’em eat pizza for lunch. Then, in the name of “fiscal responsibility”, cut out nonessential things like physical education. Those types of teachers make way too much money, anyway.
After all, the kids will get plenty of exercise when they go home – playing video games. Or at least their thumbs will. That way they’ll be able to text faster on their smart phones.